The Social Collective: Two Simple Techniques for Anxiety

Exploring the relationships that shape local living.

Over the years, my relationship with mental health has been just that, a relationship. One that has evolved, challenged me, and, at times, completely overwhelmed me. The last three years, and particularly the last six months, have been some of the hardest, but also the most eye-opening. Like so many people, my journey started young. I remember going to my GP and trying to explain how I felt, not really having the words for it. The response, at the time, was antidepressants. That was around 35 years ago, and while everything was done with the best intentions, we now understand so much more about how our brains work. Over the years, I’ve tried it all, talking therapies, breathing techniques, coping strategies, things I was told would help if I just stuck with them. And I did try. Really try. But I often found myself asking the same question: why, after all of this, was I still struggling?

What I’ve come to understand more recently is something I know will resonate with many people: for a long time, I was managing symptoms, not understanding the cause.

And that changes everything. One example of this for me is breathing techniques. I was told for years to focus on my breathing, to practise regularly, to keep going, but it never seemed to help. I couldn’t understand why something that worked for so many people just didn’t work for me. It left me feeling frustrated, and at times, like I was failing. More recently, through the right support, I’ve learned that not every technique works for every person, and that’s okay. It is worth trying the different approaches you’re offered, even if some don’t feel right, because it’s often through that process that you begin to understand what does work for you. For me, my psychiatrist introduced two alternative techniques that are better suited to how my mind works, and for the first time, they’ve actually helped.

This space, The Social Collective, is about sharing that journey. Not as an expert, but as someone who has lived it. Because what works for one person won’t always work for another, and that’s okay.

If nothing else, I hope this helps you feel a little less alone, and perhaps gives you something new to try, for yourself or someone you support.

Technique One: The 3-3-3 Rule (or, the one that actually helped me pause)

Many of us live with a constant level of anxiety, sometimes loud and overwhelming, sometimes just quietly sitting in the background. Mine often felt like my brain was running ahead of me, thinking ten steps into the future, usually about things that hadn’t even happened.

One of the first techniques that has actually helped me interrupt that pattern is something called the 3-3-3 rule. Now, I’ll be honest, when I first heard it, I thought, this sounds far too simple to work. But that’s kind of the point. The 3-3-3 rule is a grounding technique. It helps bring you out of your head and back into the present moment by using your senses.

Here’s how it works:

• Look around and name 3 things you can see. Not just a quick glance, actually notice them. The colour, the shape, the detail. It could be anything: a cup, a tree, your phone.

• Listen for 3 things you can hear. This might be obvious sounds or really subtle ones, the hum of a fridge, distant traffic, someone talking nearby.

• Move 3 parts of your body. Roll your shoulders, wiggle your toes, turn your head, anything gentle. And focus on how it feels when you do it.

That’s it.

What I’ve learned is that anxiety thrives when all your attention is locked inside your thoughts. And scientifically, we only have a limited amount of attention at any one time. So when you deliberately shift that attention to your senses, your brain has less capacity to keep feeding the anxiety. It’s also doing something else important, it’s grounding you. Anxiety often pulls us into the what ifs of the future. This brings you back to what is actually happening right now. There’s also a physical element to it. When you move your body, even slightly, you begin to release some of the tension anxiety creates. And by focusing on your surroundings, you’re signalling to your nervous system that you are safe in this moment, which helps calm the stress response.

For me, this technique works best when I catch things early, when I feel that familiar rise starting. It doesn’t “fix” everything, but it takes the edge off and gives me a moment of control. And sometimes, that pause is exactly what you need.

Technique Two: The Self-Soothe Box (your go-to when your head won’t cooperate)

This one feels a bit different, but it’s probably one of the most practical tools I’ve come across, and it can be adapted for both adults and children. You might hear it called a self-soothe box, a coping box, or even a hope box. Whatever the name, the idea is simple: it’s a collection of things that help bring you back to a calmer place when everything feels too much.

Because let’s be honest, when you’re overwhelmed, your brain isn’t exactly helpful. You can’t think clearly, you can’t remember what works, and even the simplest things feel hard. That’s where this comes in.

A self-soothe box is something you create when you’re feeling okay, so it’s there for you when you’re not. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. It’s completely personal. But what I’ve learned is that it works best when you include things that engage your senses.

Things you can see: Photos of people you love, happy memories, notes to yourself from a calmer time, or even quotes that mean something to you. These act as gentle reminders that things can feel different.

Things you can hear: A playlist that lifts your mood, calming music, or even just having headphones ready so you don’t have to go searching when you need them.

Things you can smell or taste: This surprised me, but it works. A familiar scent, like a moisturiser or perfume, can be really grounding. Sour sweets are also great for bringing you into the present moment because they force your brain to focus.

Things to distract your mind: Colouring, puzzles, a notebook, something simple to do with your hands. When your thoughts are looping, giving your brain something else to focus on can really help break that cycle.

And this brings me back to breathing. As I mentioned before, traditional breathing techniques didn’t work for me, but that doesn’t mean breathing itself isn’t important. It just means I needed a different way into it. So your box can include things that support breathing in a more natural way. Something as simple as a bottle of bubbles can help, because blowing out slowly encourages a steadier breath without overthinking it.

That’s the key with all of this: finding what works for you. This isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about giving yourself a way back when things feel overwhelming. A starting point. A moment of calm. And sometimes, that’s more than enough to change the direction of your day.

Hearing Loss and Mental Wellbeing

Imagine sitting at a table with friends or family, smiling and nodding along, but only catching fragments of the conversation. You laugh when others do, hoping it fits. At first, it may seem like a small inconvenience, something easy to brush off. But over time, moments like this begin to accumulate, quietly reshaping how a person connects with the world around them.

When we think about hearing loss, we often focus on the practical frustrations: turning up the television or asking people to repeat themselves. Yet the deeper impact is often overlooked. Hearing plays a central role in how we communicate, build relationships, and feel included. When it becomes more difficult, the effects can extend far beyond the ears, influencing confidence, mood, and overall wellbeing.

In the early stages, the changes can be subtle. Background noise becomes harder to filter out, conversations in busy places feel overwhelming, and social interactions can leave a person unusually tired. It is not simply a matter of missing words; it is the increased effort required to follow what is being said. The brain begins to work harder to fill in the gaps, turning everyday communication into something demanding. This effect is called Cognitive Load. As that effort grows, many people begin to withdraw, not by choice, but because it becomes easier to step back than to keep up. Social situations that were once enjoyable can start to feel exhausting. A relaxed meal out or a family gathering may become a source of stress, leading to fewer interactions and a gradual sense of disconnection.

There is also a growing understanding of the link between untreated hearing loss and depression. As social connection decreases, so too can mood and motivation. Activities that once brought enjoyment may begin to feel less accessible, not because the desire has gone, but because the experience has changed. Anxiety can also develop, particularly in everyday situations where there is a fear of mishearing or responding incorrectly.

One of the most overlooked aspects is the mental strain involved. Listening becomes an active process that requires sustained concentration. Many people describe feeling drained after socialising, not because of the company, but because of the effort involved in keeping up. This hidden fatigue can affect energy levels, focus, and overall quality of life.

The positive news is that hearing loss is something that can be addressed, and doing so can have a meaningful impact on both communication and mental wellbeing. At The Studio Goostrey, the focus is not just on hearing more clearly, but on helping people feel more connected and confident again. Through personalised hearing assessments, tailored hearing solutions, and ongoing support, the aim is to reduce listening effort and restore ease to everyday interactions. Equally important is recognising the emotional side of hearing loss. Open conversations, practical communication strategies, and a supportive environment can all help prevent the gradual slide into isolation. Small adjustments, from choosing quieter spaces to simply facing someone when speaking, can make a significant difference.

Hearing loss may be invisible, but its effects are not. By understanding its wider impact and seeking the right support, it is possible to reconnect with the moments that matter most. Because hearing well is not just about sound, it is about staying engaged with life.

Reaching Out for Support

As I’ve said throughout, I’m not an expert, I can only share my own experience. And I’ve only got to this point with the right professional support, first from my GP and now from a psychiatrist.

I really can’t stress enough how important it is to reach out for help if you’re struggling. It might feel difficult, or even overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it on your own.

If it is an emergency and someone is in immediate danger, please call 999 straight away.

If you need urgent help for your mental or physical health, you can call NHS 111 or use NHS 111 online. Your GP is also always a good place to start.

Locally, there is support available through Cheshire East services, including helpful resources, helplines and referral options via: www.thebiglifegroup.com

I also want to mention CGL (Change Grow Live), who provide vital drug and alcohol support services: www.changegrowlive.org

From experts in the field of addiction, we know that mental health challenges are often closely linked to addiction. Many people turn to alcohol or substances as a way of coping, self-medicating to manage how they feel. But support is there, without judgement.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to mental health. What works for one person may not work for another, but with the right help, there is a way forward.

And that first step, reaching out, can make all the difference.