Is Fear Stopping You Living Your Life?

By Jan Johnson Reflexology

How many times have you turned away from doing something because you’ve been too anxious about what might happen or getting a negative reaction from others? Fear is a part of being human but is a complex emotion of extremes that can literally save your life! The fear of falling off a cliff will ensure you walk at a safe distance from the edge. Fear can be your friend but the flip side can leave you unable to live your life as you wish.

There are four basic types of fear

1. Elimination – The fear of death, the biggest worst case scenario of all. The primal body reacts with a rush of hormones with the effect of keeping us safe and alive.

2. Incapacitation – The fear of physical injury or illness. It’s why we avoid or run from things that might hurt us. Heights, spiders, medical procedures etc.

3. Dependence – Fear of feeling trapped or loss of control, triggering deep unease, causing stress hormones to increase.

4. Separation – Fear of being alone. For our early ancestors there was literally safety in numbers and isolation could mean death. Modern loneliness causes the same elemental fear reactions in the brain.

Fear of the big life-threatening situations is thankfully not how we live our day-to-day lives however. Modern life is scary. They say ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff.’ But we do, and we can’t help it! Fear of trying in case we fail, fear of rejection, being too thin, too overweight, too loud, too whacky, too quiet, too confident, too early, too late… The daily list of worries and fear can be long and overwhelming. Phobias and learnt behaviours from previous, negative experiences will inevitably cause avoidance and an altered path through life, impacting dreams, career choices, relationships, freedom and independence.

How do we overcome and effectively manage fear and anxiety? The first step is to understand and recognise where your fear is coming from, and keeping a diary may help here. Be aware of your thoughts around these triggers and how they make you feel anxious. Do your feelings match the situation? This mindful understanding can be the first step in facing your fears. There are many self-care ways to take control of anxiety. Complementary therapies such as reflexology, provide holistic support both mentally and physically, as well as a calm and relaxing environment in which to switch off completely. Talking to someone you trust or seeking peer support from those with similar experiences. Breathing exercises or practicing mindfulness can be a great way to bring instant relief in anxious situations. Looking after your health seems obvious in a self-care context, but more sleep, eating regularly and taking more exercise will ensure you have the energy to cope with difficult feelings and challenges.

There is no quick fix to overcoming fear, and in some cases it may require professional help. For the small stuff however, equal amounts of understanding, acceptance and self-care is the best recipe to live your best life.